Parenting counselling

About Parenting

The most effective weapon a parent has to control a child is the withdrawal of love or its threat. A young child between the ages of three and six is too dependent on parental love and approval to resist this pressure. Robert’s mother, as we saw earlier, controlled him by “cutting him out.” Margaret’s mother beat her into submission, but it was the loss of her father’s love that devastated her. Whatever the means parents use, the result is that the child is forced to give up his instinctual longing, to suppress his sexual desires for one parent and his hostility toward the other. In their place he will develop feelings of guilt about his sexuality and fear of authority figures. This surrender constitutes an acceptance of parental power and authority and a submission to the parents’ values and demands. The child becomes “good”, which means that he gives up his sexual orientation in favor of one directed toward achievement. Parental authority is introjected in the form of a superego, ensuring that the child will follow his parents’ wishes in the acculturation process. In effect, the child now identifies with the threatening parent. Freud says, “The whole process, on the one hand, preserves the genital organ wards off the danger of losing it; on the other hand, it paralyzes it, takes its function away from it.
― Alexander Lowen, Fear of Life

Parenting counselling aims to provide the knowledge, guidance, support to parents without bias or judgement. Becoming a parent is challenging.

A family could be a source of support, encouragement and love. Sometimes relationships inside the family are under strain and tensions, and family members feel isolated or overlooked.

Counselling parents can help when parents are going through divorce or separation. Opposite, when a new family is created, could be a challenge.

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''It is amazing how many parents realise the exent to which their child has bottled up their feelings-once the child feels safe, they can speak openly for the first time''-A happy customer

Dealing with the stress of being a new parent

Your new status-as mom or dad could be an enormous challenge. We all know and heard about the shopworn cliches of life in the first six months: near-sleepless nights, increased pressure on your relationship, having much less free time than you used to.

Counselling could help you be forgiving of one another. When you are feeling frazzled, pressured and like you are in over your head, it’s not uncommon for your temper to become a little shorter than it is normal. This is something we both inflict upon other people-snapping at our partners for small mistakes or habits that used to be annoying and are now totally intolerable-and on ourselves: becoming impatient with our perceived failures, speaking to ourselves harshly inside our own heads or admonishing ourselves in cruel or extreme terms. Read more…

Finding help where you can get it

Sometimes, people don’t accept the help of family and friends when it comes to raising a new child because they don’t want to be an imposition. Sometimes, they may feel embarrassed that they need to ask for help, and may feel that they should be able to cope with things themselves. Or sometimes, it just doesn’t occur to them that the resources are available-they may not realise that that friendly couple up the street might just be totally willing babysitters for the evening, or that mum may not mind doing an extra shift this month.

Whatever the case, it can only benefit you and your partner to take the help that might be around. That might not mean taking all that much time off-perhaps there are only a few people around who might be able to help, or you may only see the right people once in a while-but sometimes taking a little break can make a bigger difference than you expect.

How Your Psychotherapist can help

If communication is breaking down between you and your partner or perhaps you just want to be able to communicate better, counselling could help. Your Psychotherapist online offer is available.